Post by aneaglesangel on Jun 6, 2006 17:00:24 GMT -5
Time went on, and I continued my research. I began to realize that there
were many things going on that were out of my control. I began to realize
there was more than one spirit. I had to find a way to come to terms with all of these events and I had to find out if I could make the one I felt was evil go away, and go away for good. I found differing opinions on NDE's. I found that though some doctors and scientists believed that near death experiences were valid examples of proof of life after death, others thought these events were like a "program" to ease the dying mind. I have a very medical and psychiatric background due to my family. I have read many psychology books and one thing that they all agree on, is that a human brain can not imagine itself not existing. So if you ask me, why would a brain, that doesn't believe it can't exist, write such a "program" to begin with???
A friend of mine put me in touch with a Shaman. He was from a Christian Church in the area, and was a certified "psychic healer". My friend thought that maybe he could help me with the negative energy feeder problem I had. He is the man that when I told him of the golden light during my coma, he said, "Bless you! Don't you know you were in the arms of God??" He also was the man who taught me that I had the power over these events in my life. Too bad it took a while until I believed him.
He came to my house many times and blessed it in a Native American way. I remember admiring the eagle's feathers he had. We drew a circle of salt around the perimeter of my house. We did many things during that time to keep it from returning, but it all seemed to be of no use. Eventually, it always came back to me.
On one occasion, he asked if I'd allow him to hypnotize me. I said ok, but I had reservations about letting some man I don't know very well putting me under. He wanted to take me back to the past life memory I had and he seemed to believe that the spirit that was coming to me was someone I knew in a past life. When this occurred, I pretended to be under hypnosis, but I really wasn't. When he asked me to tell him what I saw, I of course had to say, "nothing!" I didn't see anything but the insides of my eyelids. He was persistent in trying to bring me to that memory, so I tried calling it up into my mind. I told him it was too dark and I couldn't see. He told me to turn the lights on. I told him I didn't know how. He told me then that I needed help and to call out to my father. I did what he asked and I was surprised to see something rushing at me at an incredible rate of speed. It looked like a man in a circle, and all around him was a purple color. Soon the purple began to take over and I began to get scared. After all, I wasn't really hypnotized, so why would I see something like that. I remember panicking
and saying over and over, "I can't!! The purple is coming!"
He put his hand on me and told me to relax, to open my eyes. He said not to fear that purple is the last color we see as we die. That it is the color of the highest consciousness and that I was safe. I couldn't figure out what I had seen, but the fear was real. It bothered me that I feared but didn't know why. This same day was when he showed me that I could see auras. He put his hand up against a wall and asked me what I saw. I told him of course that I saw his hand. He then asked
me if I saw anything else. I had to admit I saw a green light around his hand. Then he pulled his hand away and asked if I saw anything strange about the shape. As a matter of fact, I did. You see, his two middle fingers were missing. Cut off right at the hand. But in the aura, there were still fingers there! He told me that I was naturally inclined to see ghosts, and auras. He said that for some it comes naturally, others have to work at it. But one thing for sure this ability can be frightened out of you!!
Then he told me something that I still believe and value to this day. He asked me if I could tell him what the most powerful forces were in the universe. I answered, good and evil. He said close but no cigar. He told me love and hate were the most powerful forces on earth. He told me that all things are acted out either in love or in hate. Funny, it began to make sense, but I didn't know how much sense and how much I would come to value this simple fact. Finally I gained the courage to ask him the question that mattered most to me. I asked him if this spirit could be Leo. He told me that Leo had done the ultimate sacrifice. He'd given his own life to save mine. He told me that by doing this, Leo had "jumped ahead many lifetimes" and would now be so far away that it couldn't be him. To this day, I wonder, was he telling the truth as he saw it, or was he lying to save me the guilt I felt at causing Leo's death.
Regardless of what is true, this person gave me the greatest gift of all.
He gave me my power, he taught me that I could use it. As you'll see, I did but later on, when I had finally found that the love inside of me is the greatest power I'll ever have as long as I walk on this earth. He helped me to finally trust and believe in myself. He made me believe simply, in love! This is a lesson I will never allow myself to forget and I will act it out until I have left this world, and joined with my eagle to fly across the skies!
were many things going on that were out of my control. I began to realize
there was more than one spirit. I had to find a way to come to terms with all of these events and I had to find out if I could make the one I felt was evil go away, and go away for good. I found differing opinions on NDE's. I found that though some doctors and scientists believed that near death experiences were valid examples of proof of life after death, others thought these events were like a "program" to ease the dying mind. I have a very medical and psychiatric background due to my family. I have read many psychology books and one thing that they all agree on, is that a human brain can not imagine itself not existing. So if you ask me, why would a brain, that doesn't believe it can't exist, write such a "program" to begin with???
A friend of mine put me in touch with a Shaman. He was from a Christian Church in the area, and was a certified "psychic healer". My friend thought that maybe he could help me with the negative energy feeder problem I had. He is the man that when I told him of the golden light during my coma, he said, "Bless you! Don't you know you were in the arms of God??" He also was the man who taught me that I had the power over these events in my life. Too bad it took a while until I believed him.
He came to my house many times and blessed it in a Native American way. I remember admiring the eagle's feathers he had. We drew a circle of salt around the perimeter of my house. We did many things during that time to keep it from returning, but it all seemed to be of no use. Eventually, it always came back to me.
On one occasion, he asked if I'd allow him to hypnotize me. I said ok, but I had reservations about letting some man I don't know very well putting me under. He wanted to take me back to the past life memory I had and he seemed to believe that the spirit that was coming to me was someone I knew in a past life. When this occurred, I pretended to be under hypnosis, but I really wasn't. When he asked me to tell him what I saw, I of course had to say, "nothing!" I didn't see anything but the insides of my eyelids. He was persistent in trying to bring me to that memory, so I tried calling it up into my mind. I told him it was too dark and I couldn't see. He told me to turn the lights on. I told him I didn't know how. He told me then that I needed help and to call out to my father. I did what he asked and I was surprised to see something rushing at me at an incredible rate of speed. It looked like a man in a circle, and all around him was a purple color. Soon the purple began to take over and I began to get scared. After all, I wasn't really hypnotized, so why would I see something like that. I remember panicking
and saying over and over, "I can't!! The purple is coming!"
He put his hand on me and told me to relax, to open my eyes. He said not to fear that purple is the last color we see as we die. That it is the color of the highest consciousness and that I was safe. I couldn't figure out what I had seen, but the fear was real. It bothered me that I feared but didn't know why. This same day was when he showed me that I could see auras. He put his hand up against a wall and asked me what I saw. I told him of course that I saw his hand. He then asked
me if I saw anything else. I had to admit I saw a green light around his hand. Then he pulled his hand away and asked if I saw anything strange about the shape. As a matter of fact, I did. You see, his two middle fingers were missing. Cut off right at the hand. But in the aura, there were still fingers there! He told me that I was naturally inclined to see ghosts, and auras. He said that for some it comes naturally, others have to work at it. But one thing for sure this ability can be frightened out of you!!
Then he told me something that I still believe and value to this day. He asked me if I could tell him what the most powerful forces were in the universe. I answered, good and evil. He said close but no cigar. He told me love and hate were the most powerful forces on earth. He told me that all things are acted out either in love or in hate. Funny, it began to make sense, but I didn't know how much sense and how much I would come to value this simple fact. Finally I gained the courage to ask him the question that mattered most to me. I asked him if this spirit could be Leo. He told me that Leo had done the ultimate sacrifice. He'd given his own life to save mine. He told me that by doing this, Leo had "jumped ahead many lifetimes" and would now be so far away that it couldn't be him. To this day, I wonder, was he telling the truth as he saw it, or was he lying to save me the guilt I felt at causing Leo's death.
Regardless of what is true, this person gave me the greatest gift of all.
He gave me my power, he taught me that I could use it. As you'll see, I did but later on, when I had finally found that the love inside of me is the greatest power I'll ever have as long as I walk on this earth. He helped me to finally trust and believe in myself. He made me believe simply, in love! This is a lesson I will never allow myself to forget and I will act it out until I have left this world, and joined with my eagle to fly across the skies!